The Silence

Shemini 5784 - What is our response?

Moshe V’aharon by Nava Tehila

There is a very strange and shocking incident that happens in this week’s parsha with Aaron’s two sons, Nadav and Avihu. The Torah says,

וַיִּקְחוּ בְנֵי־אַהֲרֹן נָדָב וַאֲבִיהוּא אִישׁ מַחְתָּתוֹ וַיִּתְּנוּ בָהֵן אֵשׁ וַיָּשִׂימוּ עָלֶיהָ קְטֹרֶת וַיַּקְרִיבוּ לִפְנֵי ה׳ אֵשׁ זָרָה אֲשֶׁר לֹא צִוָּה אֹתָם׃ וַתֵּצֵא אֵשׁ מִלִּפְנֵי ה׳ וַתֹּאכַל אוֹתָם וַיָּמֻתוּ לִפְנֵי ה׳ 

Now Aaron’s sons Nadab and Abihu each took his fire pan, put fire in it, and laid incense on it; and they offered before God alien fire, which had not been enjoined upon them. And fire came forth from God and consumed them; thus they died at the instance of God. (Vayikra 10:1-2)

What is going on?! The Rabbis have a variety of contradicting opinions. Perhaps it was ego on their part - they felt their father Aaron was getting old and it was their time now to be High Priests so they decided to take matters in their own hands and bring a sacrifice. Perhaps they were drunk. On the other hand, perhaps they were so filled up with awe and reverence for God that they just needed to express that love and bring a sacrifice that wasn’t commanded. 

Either way, it didn’t end well. But what I want to focus on today are Moses and Aaron’s responses:

וַיֹּאמֶר מֹשֶׁה אֶל־אַהֲרֹן הוּא אֲשֶׁר־דִּבֶּר ה׳ בִּקְרֹבַי אֶקָּדֵשׁ וְעַל־פְּנֵי כל־הָעָם אֶכָּבֵד וַיִּדֹּם אַהֲרֹן׃ 

Then Moses said to Aaron, “This is what God meant by saying: Through those near to Me I show Myself holy, And gain glory before all the people.” And Aaron was silent. (Vayikra 10:3)

Rabbi Shai Held looks closely at the two responses of Aaron and Moshe to this event. When someone dies, it seems logical for leaders to offer words of condolence and grief to the relatives of that person. After the death of Nadav and Avihu, Moses quickly responds by saying “This is what the Lord meant saying: Through those who are near to Me, I will be sanctified, and before all the people I will be glorified.” It seems as if Moses is responding with an explanation of why such an act occurred, before offering any words of consolation. And as we read immediately after, Aaron remains silent.

There are a few explanations for this silence. Perhaps Aaron agreed with Moses and understood that this is what happens when people get too close to God - his silence indicates that acceptance. The word used for Aaron’s silence is Vayidom Aharon. Rabbi Eliezer Lipman Lichtenstein distinguishes the use of the verb “ד.מ.מ” instead of “ש.ת.ק”. The verb used, “d’mama”, he argues, indicates internal peace and acceptance, instead of outward expressions of grief like tears and sobbing. Perhaps this silence, Lichenstein writes, highlights Aaron’s internal acceptance of God’s decree. 

However, there is actually another meaning to the word “Vayidom.” Bible scholar Baruch Levine explains that it can also mean “to mourn.” In this read, Aaron was shocked and upset and his silence indicates the lack of words that could possibly express what he is feeling. Perhaps Aaron’s silence is in direct response to Moses’s explanation. Moses, trying to comfort his older brother, responds with a reason for the death. Aaron is seeking comfort and presence in that moment, which Moses’ explanation does not provide. As humans we often respond like Moses, offering an explanation or reason as to why an event happened. The narrative in this week’s parsha shows us another way.

There is a tradition when entering a house of mourning of not speaking until the mourner speaks first. This is so hard, especially nowadays, because human beings are uncomfortable with silence. How do we let our presence speak for itself? When we are confronted with tragedy, how do we show up for each other? 

Shabbat Shalom,

Josh Warshawsky