The Punctuation
Chayei Sarah 5784 - That same thought in Rebekah’s heart, read with two different sets of punctuation, changes her entire being - it changes her perspective and her entire outlook.
Tefilat Haderech - Tofa’ah
I struggled with what to write about this week. How to convey what I am feeling, whether those feelings matter at all in the face of my friends and family and those in Israel who are living through an unimaginable moment right now. How to show support for Israel (which I want to and need to do). How to make sure that along with our support, we maintain our humanity and stay true to what I believe are inherently Jewish values - that every life matters and that we must protect innocent life in harm’s way (which I believe wholeheartedly too.).
I listened to an interview on Pod Save America with President Obama where he tried to tell an audience that if we’re able to at all understand and make our way through this right now, “it will require an admission of complexity. And maintaining what on the surface may seem like contradictory ideas.”
In addition to all of the horror and terror in the world, we are also living in a time now in Jewish life where there is an incredible new proliferation of Feminist Midrash, mostly coming out of Israel. One of the main sources is a series called Dirshuni, which is a compendium of feminist midrashim compiled by Tamar Biala. The midrash for Chayei Sarah, written by Rivkah Lovitch, attempts to explore what it feels like to hold two seemingly contradictory emotions at the same time. Here it is below, with my translation from Hebrew to English:
"וַתִּשָּׂא רִבְקָה אֶת עֵינֶיהָ וַתֵּרֶא אֶת יִצְחָק וַתִּפֹּל מֵעַל הַגָּמָל. וַתֹּאמֶר אֶל הָעֶבֶד מִי הָאִישׁ הַלָּזֶה הַהֹלֵךְ בַּשָּׂדֶה לִקְרָאתֵנוּ וַיֹּאמֶר הָעֶבֶד הוּא אֲדֹנִי וַתִּקַּח הַצָּעִיף וַתִּתְכָּס... (בְּרֵאשִׁית כַּד:סַד-סה)"
“Raising her eyes, Rebekah saw Isaac. She fell from the camel and said to the servant, “Who is that man walking in the field toward us?” And the servant said, “That is my master.” So she took her veil and covered herself (Bereishit 24:64-65).”
בְּבֵית מִדְרָשָׁה שֶׁל בְּרוּרְיָה אָמְרוּ:
מִנְיַן שֶׁהַנֶּפֶשׁ מֻחְלֶשֶׁת אֶת הַגּוּף? מֵרִבְקָה. שֶׁנֹּאמַר 'וַתֵּרֶא אֶת יִצְחָק וַתִּפֹּל מֵעַל הַגָּמָל.' בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁרָאֲתָה רִבְקָה אֶת יִצְחָק נִטַּלְטְלָה נַפְשָׁהּ, נֶחֱלַשׁ גּוּפָהּ וְנָפְלָה לָאָרֶץ.
וּמִמָּה נִטַּלְטְלָה נַפְשָׁהּ?
In Beruriah’s beit midrash they said:
From where do we learn that the soul can weaken the body? From Rebekah. As it is written, “Rebekah saw Isaac and fell from her camel.” At the moment when Rebekah saw Isaac, her soul shook, her body weakened, and she fell to the ground.
From what did her soul shake?
אַחַת אָמְרָה: מִצַּעַר וְאַכְזָבָה. שֶׁמִּשֶּׁרָאֲתָה אֶת יִצְחָק אָמְרָה בְּלִבָּהּ: הַלָּזֶה עָזַבְתִּי אֶת בֵּית הוֹרַי? הַלָּזֶה הָלַכְתִּי דֶּרֶךְ ת"ק פַּרְסָה וּבָאתִי לְאֶרֶץ חֲדָשָׁה וְנָכְרִיָּה? וְעוֹד שֶׁנִּתְמַלְּאָה חֲשָׁשׁ וּפַחַד, כִּי יָדְעָה שֶׁהַלַּיְלָה תִּמָּסֵר לְאִישׁ זֶה שֶׁהוּא זָר לָה. וְאָמְרוּ: אַל תִּקְרִי ,הַלָּזֶה, אֶלָּא הַלָּה זָר. לְפִיכָךְ נֶחֱלַשׁ גּוּפָהּ וְנָפְלָה.
One said: from the pain and disappointment. From the moment she saw Isaac she said in her heart: ‘was it really for this reason that I left my parents’ house? For this I walked 500 parasangs and came to this new and strange land?’ And also she was filled with doubt and fear, for she knew that that very night she would be given to this man who was a stranger to her. And they said: Don’t read it as “for this reason” (halazeh), rather read it as “this stranger” (hala zar). Therefore her body weakened and she fell.
וְאַחֶרֶת אָמְרָה: מִשִּׂמְחָה גְּדוֹלָה. שֶׁמִּשֶּׁרָאֲתָה אֶת יִצְחָק אָמְרָה בְּלִבָּהּ: לְזֶה עָזַבְתִּי אֶת בֵּית הוֹרַי! לְזֶה הָלַכְתִּי דֶּרֶךְ ת"ק פַּרְסָה וּבָאתִי לְאֶרֶץ חֲדָשָׁה וְנָכְרִיָּה! וְנִתְמַלְּאָה רֹךְ וְעֶדְנָה מִפְּנֵי שֶׁיָּדְעָה שֶׁעֲתִידָה הִיא הַלַּיְלָה לִכָּנֵס לְחֻפָּתָהּ. לְפִיכָךְ נֶחֱלַשׁ גּוּפָהּ וְנָפְלָה.
And another said: from great joy. From the moment she saw Isaac she said in her heart: For this I left my parents house! For this I walked 500 parasangs and came to this new and strange land! And she was filled with gentleness and tenderness because she knew that later that evening she would enter under her huppah! Therefore her body weakened and she fell.
What we have to realize is that, in actuality, it isn’t one or the other.
That same thought in Rebekah’s heart, read with two different sets of punctuation, changes our entire understanding of her thought process. And what we have to realize is that, in actuality, it isn’t one or the other. She is holding her hurt and her anguish, her pain and disappointment. And at the same time she holds her joy and excitement, her nervousness and love. Both of these things are true, and she holds both.
In honor of Rebekah’s journey, and as a prayer for safety and return for those in captivity, I share this Tefillat Haderech written by Tofa’ah, an all-female Israeli rock group. It is a prayer that those who have been taken be returned to safety and healing, comfort and family. That their steps be guided towards life and joy and peace and, most importantly, home.
Shabbat Shalom,
Josh